Waitress

One guess, if you know me, why I had to see this movie...

Just a few complaints: she brings the drinks at the same time as the food? Don't the customers get impatient? She gets a lunch break? Isn't a waitress usually serving lunch during lunchtime?

Aside from those small complaints, I got what I came for--a sympathetic portrayal a of a waitress, that iconic, harried member of society--and a lot more. Keri Russell is not only at the whims of her customers in a "pie diner," but also at the whim of a controlling, hyper-traditional I-want-to-take-care-of-you-give-me-all-your-tips husband...the classic oppressed and powerless female. All she has is her two co-waitresses, sisters in lovelessness. Or is it?

Early in the movie, Jenna finds out she is pregnant--unwillingly so--by her husband, Earl. The diner's manager and owner, both male, are also ornery, bossy, and less-than-understanding in general. It seems that men have gotten the better of her, and we prepare to feel sorry. At one point, "Old Joe," the owner, played by Andy Griffith, is ordering her to get him new orange juice--this time with no ice; then, her husband calls her on the phone to harass her about something; at the same time she must deal with other things, like her manager telling her to move things along, other customers, morning sickness, and her coworkers' emotional problems. This is the feeling I often experience at work: how can one person possibly be expected to do five things, and make ten people happy, at once? It's simply not possible. Someone will have to be unhappy--a truth I hate to admit, because I hate to fail.

Jenna begins to feel unhappy not only with her oppressed lot, but also with her own moral failure because she has started an affair with her adorable obstetrician and continues to have an unwelcoming attitude towards the poor innocent babe inside her. Life falls apart...but by the end of the story she is taking control and making decisions not only to further her own happiness (which we've been cheering her to do) but also to further the happiness of others, returning her to a state of being a "good person." We start to feel more sympathy for those oppressive males, finding they're not as bad as they seemed. Like many women-themed stories, this one is about finding happiness--and peace--in your decisions, be they related to relationships, children, or career. The thing I am beginning to realize about feminist stories is that they are often about both empowerment and compassion, compassion for men, children, and other women, and not just about doing what's right for yourself.

This weekend I had a customer put me down at work. He implied that he was a better person because he makes more money than I do--and even told me how much. It seems laughable now, but at the time it shook me to the core. I love to read a good womanly story (or watch such a movie) and remember that the more vulnerable members of society have nothing wrong with them, unless creativity, tenderness, and finding meaning in life are faults. We all have to take steps towards our own "happiness," whatever that means, and do it with our integrity in tact. That means working with our own individual personalities, talents, and interests, and being brave enough to step out whether it's with a career, a relationship, or a "hobby." It's nice to have someone take care of you, but sometimes that person has to be yourself, along with the community you have, be it girlfriends, a boyfriend, husband, parents, or random elderly mentors, like in this movie. Just like Jenna took control of her life, I feel like I've "taken control" of mine, if that can really be done, and a story like this is encouraging. Your job doesn't determine who you are. As Joe says to her, "you don't even know who you are, deep inside--you're not just some 'little waitress'." I think, however, that she started to find out--just like I am.