He's Just Not That Into You

I think romantic comedies are an unfairly maligned genre. The critics just can't seem to give them a break. I just saw He's Just Not That Into You (which despite lukewarm reviews will make tons of money) with a theater full of women (in our group we had two men and seven women) and I thought it was great. It was much smarter than the average rom-com; its most unique feature was its attempt to portray relationships realistically, embarrassing warts and all. Based on the popular self-help book of the same name, the movie showed a deeper complexity of relationships than the book but still maintained the basic theme that people should not waste their energy on others who are not really interested--in other words, don't be desperate.

Like one of my favorites, Love Actually, this film follows several sub-plots, but in the city of Baltimore rather than London. The main character is played by the charming Ginnifer Goodwin, a quite desperate young lady who obsesses over guys who don't call and whether each of them could secretly be the love of her life. The worldly wise bartender Alex kindly gives her tough advice, which inspires her to be realistic about these guys and develop some standards for her relationships. He teaches her, as the book says, to not "waste the pretty." Drew Barrymore has a small part which focuses on the complications modern technology add to dating; Scarlett Johansson's character is convinced that she is in love with a married man, and others question both their own and their partners' sincerity in relationships.

Like the book, the movie focuses on tough love advice for relationships--telling the truth to one's friends to help them avoid being led on, desperate, or needy. I know that some people thought these characters were extremely pitiful, but to me they seem realistic. I always like characters that reveal and ridicule human weakness; they make me feel better.

I'm not sure if romantic comedies are reviled because people think relationships are unimportant to examine, or think that comedy is not intellectual enough, or because they have a bias against movies directed at women. I realize that many rom-coms are just terrible, but there are clever ones, and I believe this is one of them. While it may not be on the level of You've Got Mail or Love Actually, it may actually sacrifice charm in an attempt to present subtleties. I'm always impressed by the representation of subtle truth, by intelligent comedy, and by any light of wisdom that is shed on the mystery of relationships.