Vocabulary

When I was in fourth grade, our class undertook an intensive (& competitive) vocabulary study called Wordmasters, in which we particpated in three challenging analogy tests and our scores were compared against other fourth-graders nationwide. We learned those words inside & out, and every possible relationship they could have to each other, as well as every nuance of their meanings.

This phenomenon occurred where we would be reading a book for the class and see one of our Wordmasters words in the book...all of a sudden we knew what "agile" or "azure" meant, and it had a magical feeling, like it was put in that novel just for us, to reinforce our word study, or at least to demonstrate to ourselves how smart we were (we won the national competition). It seemed strange to us that the word was actually there, in usage in the real outside world. I still find this happening today, when I learn a new, big word and see it in a book.

Our teacher, Mrs. Cook, reminded us that it might seem like these words are occurring more often since we learned them, but they've been there all along and nothing has changed. (She was a realist). To us, it seemed special.

Lately I've experienced this phenomenon in a different, less pleasant way. When you feel guilty, or at least anxious, about something you've done, or should do, does it ever seem like related phrases are popping up everywhere? Words that distinctly remind you of the person you've wronged, or with whom your relationship is a bit off and you're avoiding trying to fix it. Or words like "passive-aggressive" popping up in the unlikeliest of places, in a joke even, but it strikes you as serious because you know that's what you happen to be right now. Sometimes it seems like words are ambushing me on every side (from every type of media) and won't give me a rest from dealing with whatever problem it is, or feeling drawn to that person I'm not right with.

There are a few possible beliefs about this phenomenon: either Mrs. Cook is right, and it's just a coincidence, and a self-imposed, neurotic guilt, or maybe God is using them to speak to me, to keep my heart from getting hard because I'm afraid or unable to deal...these words force me to "deal" by taking me off guard, emotional defenses down and reminding me in a tender way of that thing, that person that I temporarily "forgot," and thus motivating me to consider what I should do, and that I can't just forget a person or escape this problem. Just as it seemed every novelist was out to help us with Wordmasters, it really does seem that God is out to help me learn how to live by using the random word out of context.